1 down..and i still haven't found what im looking for..

I've been thinking a lot recently about needs and wants. how do you know the difference at times? Can't a need and a want be the same thing? And at what point does something become something you need?

Everywhere in Dublin there are signs for "Ireland Needs Europe" and it makes me wonder.. what kind of message does that send? To tell an entire group of people that they need another group of people. That doesn't really seem to send a message of empowerment or does it? Doesn't that send the message of the opposite? That they aren't able and in turn wouldn't that just cripple them? The very idea that a group of people wouldn't need another.. doesn't that make or sound like they are lacking without that other group? I have no doubt in my mind that the situation in which Ireland has to vote Yes or No for is probably complicated behind belief.. everything in the news is complicated nowadays. But at the root of the problem.. shouldn't Ireland want to make it on their own? Shouldn't you make your society has strong as it can be on its own and then bring in other forces?

And on a more personal level.. at what point do you become too needy? What is the limit to a fair amount of need? What is the barometer for a person being needy? At what point do you begin to ask too much of the person/people you love. Is it needy to want a phone call everyday? Is it wanting to see them a few times a week? If this idea of being needy is so universal then at what point are you classified as needy? I guess in every relationship its defined differently but as all these questions swirl in my mind there just seems to be no easy answers..

I've been in Ireland for about a month and I feel like Ive learned more about myself in these past 4 weeks then I have in a long time. I know it sounds kinda crazy but I feel like there is a gentle force behind me pushing me in the directions inwhich i need to go.. even when I want to go in the opposite direction. I've been working on this paper for pagan celts (the bane of my existance at this point) and I was assigned a God, Teutates. Mr. Teutates doesn't have much information written about him and every source I find has the same 4 things.. 4 things on a person doesn't get you 1000 words easily. So when I went to the library on Saturday I realized that I had no idea how to look up a book in the Gen section since there were like 1000 different sections.. and since there wasn't any one working the desk.. I left and put it off. Monday, Tom and I went to the library, since he is an english major I figure if there is one thing he should know its books. We found that every book I wanted/needed was not in its place. So yesterday, I went to the library alone and not only found books on my own.. but I found some books with information. And as I was photocopying the pages (yes, I figured that out on my own too) I turned around to find a lone book sitting on the table. I took a glance at the binding and it said "The Celtic World/Green." It was the exact book I had been looking for. Yea, obviously I was being rewarded for my independence. When I went to check it out of the library.. I was told it was a short loan book and shouldn't have been out of the short loan section. I would have never looked in the short loan section of the library. Just saying.. someone or something is looking out for me.

I booked my tickets for London, I'm going Nov. 6 to the 8th. I'm very excited! We are going to book a trip to Paris in Oct and Edenburgh in Dec. As I start to book trips, its just starting to settle in how short of time I have here. Hopefully, I can make the best of it.. Good Morning Ireland and Goodnight America.