see that mountain over there... I climbed it.

To say that I have learned in the past week that I am spoiled and high maintenance would be somewhat of an understatement. I suppose ever since I was young I learned very quickly that the people around me didn't seem to be quite so bothered by the things I was or didn't spend as much time crying over hurt feelings as I did...and thus realizing this I suppose I have spent a great deal of my time on Earth trying to learn what worked for me and what didn't. A girl as sensitive as me living in a world like the one we are living in today, must always be prepared. So if that means I carry a sweatshirt when its 90 degrees outside or I generally only wear cotton clothes because anything that has the possibility of itching me isn't worth the money or making sure I have at least 3 different types of medicine on hand at all times.. then its just something I have to do.. because to be in a situation without those things would just be less then acceptable. And after watching a baby for a year and half.. you learn very quickly that you have to be prepared for anything at anytime. oh god help you if you don't have a BaBa or some goldfish. Moving on, but I have realized that in the past couple of years I have grown accustomed to things just being the way they are and liking things a certain way. I wouldn't say being closed minded is the right turn of phrase but just knowing that there are things I can live with and can't live without. And it wasn't until recently that I was able to honestly accept that there are going to be people who come into my life who think I am just completely mad and making something out of nothing or they may not understand why something isn't bothersome to me. (I hope that made some sense) but anyways.

I started off last week with the printing situation. it was Tuesday that i went and bought a printer with Mike because I realized that at this point there isn't much I have control over. I have been put into this world that I have very very little control over, and when you are as sensitive as I am, it can be overwhelming and over stimulating. So I feel I have been trying to grasp onto whatever I could get my hands on. thus my printer situation, I decided that if I could only have my own printer I wouldn't have to rely on a printing system that seems oh so very confusing and totally above my head. But of course Tuesday night (when I had a paper due on Wednesday @ 9 am), I realized that my generally tech savy self could not seem to make my printer work and get a "Printer Faulty" message. I'm not going to lie.. I lost it for a bit. There were tears.. there were im's to my mother..it just appeared as if I couldn't catch a break. Of course the voice in my head was saying "this is what you get for trying to take the easy road out of a problem" yea, my internal voice is sooo funny. Soo anyways, I ended up going with Annabelle at 8:30 to learn to print, like a big girl. I managed to figure it out. How it worked or why it works is beyond me. When I later went back to print some reading material for women's studies... I managed to print on paper the size of a small poster board. Hi, My name is Meg Bush and I am printer challenged.

Thursday evening was a bit rough. We had an international student dinner, UCD likes to tell us they are giving us dinner and then serves us sandwiches and wine. I'm tired of sandwiches and Im pretty sure they just recycle them. Ew. Anyways after another embarrassing run-in with the guy from the bar.. and a lack of food.. I ended up desperately needing to hear the voices of people who love and understand my madness. As rule, I always thought that when I miss people it was better if I didn't hear their voices because then I couldn't be reminded that I missed them and therefore I wouldn't make pathetic crying phone calls. But I think I learned my lesson Thursday night. Of course, I ended up crying on the phone with everyone I called.. but after hearing their voices the world wasn't as daunting as I felt like it was. I also didn't want people to get the impression that I wasn't having a wonderful time and loving every minute in Dublin. That's the funny thing about homesickness.. you can be having a wonderful time and still feel like there is a part of you that is missing. And while I have friends here who I'm sure are more then willing to listen to me when I'm upset and feeling a little lonely.. but like I said to Kate "sometimes you just need to talk to people who love you." I feel like when your homesick everything you say sounds like your hating the experience and you are totally not seeing how lucky you are to be having the experience at all.. but really you can be having a wonderful time and still feel not quite right. its a very hard emotion to describe. None the less.. I decided that I was going to lay off the alcohol for a bit.

Friday I awoke and immediately began packing for my first weekend away traveling in Ireland. A small group (there were 6 of us) took a trip to Killarney. There was a big Irish football game on Sunday and Saturday we were going to take a hike in the Killarney National Park. I ended up having to buy a pair of sneakers b4 the trip because my box of stuff from home still hasn't arrived yet. I tried to forewarn the group that hiking wasn't really my bag but if it wasn't too strenuous I was pretty much game for anything.. especially since Im not really a city kinda girl and the idea of being in the Irish hills and seeing the green Vallie's was totally enough of a reason to go. So this was my first hostel experience.. not bad.. i wasn't eaten or killed by any serial killers. All 6 of us slept in 1 room.. and thanks to Mike's illness I think we all feel a bit more sick then when we started to trip but O well. We woke up bright and early around 8:30 and were having breakfast by 9. We had a stop at tesco for some lunch stuff.. and when I asked if there was going to be toilets along the way and everyone laughed at me and said no.. I kinda felt like I might be in over my head. I then of course, asked if any one brought any toilet paper. They all looked at me like I had like 8 heads.. I think its fair to say I don't do the whole "roughing it" thing well. Indoor plumbing, Central heat and ac.. and cable are generally my bare essentials when "roughing it." Even after the giggles and comments of me being "high maintenance" were over, I walked myself to the toilet paper aisle and bought myself a 6 pack of little tissues. There was no way you can ask me to pee in the woods and do it without toilet paper or napkins. They then asked me what I was going to do with the toilet paper after it was used and I simply decided I would cross that bridge when I came to it (after all I was just praying that I wouldn't have to find out).

So we embarked on our adventure. It became clear in the first few hundred feet that I would be the one at the back of the line.. lucky I wasn't alone. Tom was willing to walk in the back with me..and we had a grand old time. Maybe he was just being nice.. or maybe he was just as out of shape and under prepared as I was.. no matter the reason, he certainly kept me laughing the entire day.

The last time I went hiking, it was in 7th or 8th grade with Mandy and Marta, and we went on a hike with a bunch of weirdo boy scouts who didn't know how to talk to girls. It ended up being an entire day of the three of us telling the boys where the best route was and them telling us to go another way and later finding out that we were right all along.

I found myself in kinda a similar situation. I decided that since I was in the back and had no idea as to where were going or how to get there that I would simply hang in the back and go along for the ride. Not trying to worry about getting lost or anything.. plus the less I said to the entire group the less chance of them wanting to leave me in the middle of the woods alone. But of course there were a few moments where the group wasn't really quite sure which way to go and me from the back would say why not this way? or hey that's a trail.. a couple of times I happened to be right. (silent pat on the back for myself) but of course profit is without honor.. and my genius sense of direction in the woods was just chalked up to nothing but "o well"..

At one point our group of 6, split to a group of 3. the more adventurous members of the group took one look at a mountain and decided they were able to hike it within a reasonably small amount of time. Tom, Steph and I all looked at the mountain and decided we were down for the count. We had already followed them through woods without a trail and barbed wire. We decided we were going to stick to the already beaten path. I'm proud to say that we not only stuck to our own path but we found the actual path to the top of the mountain. The view from the top was amazing. As soon as we got to the top the sky cleared and it was the gods or universe whatever you want to call it and was smiling on our achievement. Im not sure there was any point in my life where I was more proud of myself. My body hurt, I was hungry, I had to pee like a race horse, I was wet, and totally out of my element, but there I stood looking over this amazing land and not only was I able to stand there but it was something I did all on my own. If you had told me I would have been standing there on that mountain 2 years ago I would have prolly told you that you were crazy and out of your mind. But I was and its something Ill never forget. The mountains of Ireland were everything I imagined and more. And while I may have complained a little and I may have not gotten there as fast as everyone else.. sometimes its more important just that you get there and not about how fast it takes you. I did it my own way and had some amazing friends along the way with me.

By the end of the day, I was walking like a 95 year old woman. The feeling of euphoria had warn off and after I came down the mountain and realized there was still about a 2-3 mile walk home, I can honestly tell you that my feet have never hurt or been soo angry with my body in my entire life. I made it.. that's all that matters. In the end, we walked about 15 miles.

I rewarded myself with some seafood chowder and fish and chips for dinner. The real reward came Sunday when I took myself shopping. I was still walking a little funny from all the pain in my legs but nothing stops me from shopping, obviously. I ended up buying a shirt, an amazing green jacket, a dress that looks like something Victoria Beckhem would wear and 2 belts (they don't look right with the dress I bought them for.. sorta disappointing). We also went to a place called the Dessert House. They had Bailey's Irish Cream Ice Cream. The best ice cream ever made. whoever decided to combine my two favorite things (ice cream and baileys) should be given an award for brilliance. they have the ice cream somewhere in dublin, Steph and I are one day going to set out to find it again.

We spent the later part of the afternoon watching rival Irish football teams (Kerry and Cork) play. We were cheering for Kerry because we were in a Kerry area. It was pretty cool.. the game just seems like a missmatch of American sports. It can get pretty intense. I ended up trying some irish coffee while watching the game. it was pretty strong and didn't wake me up at all. If anything it just made me and steph more sleepy. After Kerry won the game, we packed up all of our stuff and began our journey back to Dublin.

Overall it was a fabulous weekend. While I was totally out of my element, I still had a great time and had lots of good laughs. If you can just keep laughing then you can pretty much do anything.. Good Evening America and Goodnight Ireland.