Tuesday, October 27, 2009

i'm writing you, to catch you up on places ive been..

It seems like it was just a blink ago that I was last writing but as I am looking at the calendar and its been 2 weeks. Last week was pretty eventful I'd say..

Oct 16-18th:

Friday- Steph had her first date out with an Irish boy. It was very exciting, we spent the day shopping for something for her to wear. I think shopping for dates is the most exciting thing. Ever since I was in middle school, I always managed to buy a new shirt for a first date. I guess I feel like the first date has the potential to be the beginning of something great, and therefore you deserve to start it off with a new shirt. Plus even if the date sucks, atleast you got a free meal and a new shirt you look hot in. Tom and I ended up going out for dinner at Eddie Rockets(whatever the first name is) and it was amazing. I have a weakness for onion rings and milkshakes. This was also the night that I introduced to Jameson Whiskey. Which I was delighted to find out that unlike Jack, Jameson makes me want to do nothing but dance. So I decided that from now on Jameson will be my drink of choice. Saturday (17th) we decided that we would make our way down to the Oktoberfest in Dublin. By the time we made out way down, the queue was too long and we could no longer get in for free.. soo we stood in line for a little bit while some people had a beer and I ate a german pretzel and then went on our merry way to Doyles. The highlight from Sunday was buying the New Moon soundtrack.. its freaking amazing. enough said.

Oct 19-22:

Monday, I woke up for my class and brought with me a cup of coffee. That was probably one of the most inspirational cups of coffee ever, or maybe it was the lecture. My Sociology of Education is really a hit or miss class. Mostly a miss, it is long and painly dull and dry. But when it sparks my attention, its pretty good. We started talking about families and education and how the family influences a childs education. Closests I've come to material on my major which was refleshing. As soon as I got back to my room, I began writing emails to profs back in the states about programs, internships and my spring classes. Also I got all my course evaluations out soo I no longer have to worry about that. Go Me!!

Wednesday, was a pretty upsetting day. My computer broke. I think it was a virus, but all I know is the screen turned funny colors and I could no longer get on the internet and the machine kept making this beeping sound. When the reality that I could no longer connect to the internet, hit me. My poor little heart just couldn't take it and I found myself feeling like I could not be any farther away from home. Up to that point, the distance didn't seem to be that far, since my family and friends were just an IM and phone call away. But when the idea that there was no way for me to IM them whenever I wanted or needed to, I just broke down. I was proud of myself that up til that point I had only made 1 phone call home crying. But when your feeling alone in a very large large world, what is the only thing to do? call your mommy. Sooo I did. She calmed me down but I was still left with this problem of trying to fix a problem that had I been home wouldn't have been such a large issue but because I am in a foreign country and I have an American computer it doesn't make the task of fixing the problem as easy as sitting on the phone with dell( on a toll free call might I add) or just calling your parents computer tech who knows you on a first name basis bc he is over soo frequently.

Thursday, I woke up bright and early and walked me and my poor pathetic excuse of a computer to the IT building. I tried to use my "im a clueless girl, please help me" routine, but apparently i wasn't his type or my computer problem was even too big for this guy. Soo I took to calling Dell. After about 3 hours of talking to people and explaining my problem adn why I am in Ireland and how I know its an American computer that doesn't have a code in the Irish system and $200 later.. They decided the best course of action was to erase my entire computer. My 2500 songs on itunes..gone. All my college documents and photos are in limbo on a flashdrive. It wasn't until I tried to put my documents back on my computer that I realized I no longer had Word. Which is still a problem I am trying to deal with. At the end of the day, its been decided that its time for a new computer when I come home from Ireland.

After all my problems with my computer, Sean (A guy from Philly, who I met through Annabelle on her bday) and I walked to Tesco and he made me dinner. We had chicken breasts with motzeralla, tomato,and basil and I made my Mom's garlic spinach. It was very yummy. After dinner, I had a drink with some girls from Irish class and we later on meet up with Sean and his roommate in the city.

Friday was the beginning of Bank Holiday!! This past weekend since everyone (those who didn't procastinate, like me and steph) went out of the country on holiday. When Steph and I got around to finding places to go the prices were jack up soo much, so we decided we were going to have our own Ireland Tour. Since we have soo many trips booked in Nov and Dec, we didn't really have any time to travel in Ireland.. soo we decided 3 citys and 3 days was the best course of action. Yes, I know what your thinking.. thats crazy. But we thought it was manageable.. So we began our adventure Friday starting out in Cork. While DeeDee had already told me "Meg, Cork is boring, there isn't anything do"- Kissing the Blarney Stone was enough of a pull for us.

Cork 10/23-10/24

We started out a bit late. At the last minute I realized that I had to pass in a paper for a friend and because my computer was broken I had to stop in at the library and send it. So we ended up missing the 3:00 bus and had to walk down a little further to the bus station off of O'connell. We ended up seeing the results of a fight that happend a few minutes before we walked by.. needless to say there was tons of blood. It was rather disturbing.We got to the bus station with about 45 minute wait soo we were about to buy some snacks and stuff. When we finally boarded the bus, I remember saying to Steph that I hoped we got seats together. Well, that was wishful thinking bc when we finally got on the bus all of the seats had been taken and we couldnt even take the express bus. We ended up getting on another bus, that to be honest we werent even sure was going to Cork. The bus guy said it did, but when we were like 3 hrou into trip the driver got pretty annoyed when we raised our hands for Cork and we had to pull over and changed busses. We made it to Cork around 9:30 or so and since it was dark, I decided that walking around an unknown city with luggage wasn't the best idea so I voted for a taxi. We got a weird taxi driver. He must have been right off the boat because he had no idea where he was going. (in the light of day.. we ended up being very close) And then he decided to drop us off in front of some pretty sketchy people and charged us like 3 euro extra because he had to turn his car around in a tight alley way. Kinda crappy but what can you do.

the hostel was nice. they gave us a free breakfast of toast and coffee or tea. the front desk guy was clearly not a people person because everytime we asked him about how to do something ie. get to blarney, he would barely give us an answer. we were starving by the time we got into cork. So we walked into their city centre and found a burger king. I ended up eating 2 meals I was soo hungry. After dinner we voted that it was better for us to go to sleep early and not drink and wake up early to start the day off right because we had to leave for galway around 4 that afternoon. So we were asleep by 11 or so.. with the alarm set for 7:30. Saturday morning I woke up with another sore throat and popped my million things of immunity stuff that my mother packed me with. Cork didn't seem to be a lively as Dublin at 8:30 on a Saturday morning. We walked around the city for awhile, checked the bus times, and got some coffee. We had about 2 hours to kill.. so we decided to walk around Cork and take touristy type pictures. It was a great success because I managed to get some great pictures and I found a halloween costume. It seems that Ireland doesn't have a Party City type place like we do in the states. You only find costume in small sections of the most random stores. I decided to go all out and become Tinkerbell.

We took the 10:30 bus to Blarney Castle and it was amazing. I decided that I want to live in a castle. It just seems like it would be the coolest place to live. I told Steph the story of when a lady asked me what my name was and my 4 year old self said "I am the baby Princess." Clearly, I am supposed to live in a castle. Haha. As I made my way through the castle and up to the blarney stone.. I kept saying to myself "No wonder DeeDee didn't like this" the steps werent really for the faint of heart and the space was limited. We managed to climb our way to the blarney stone and when it came time for me to kiss it, Steph didn't get the shot. She got me getting up after. This is why I am the camera person in the duo. I am a born Mom who takes all those embarrassing pictures. But I figure, one day we will want those pictures, even if they arent appreciated now. I also went up backwards on the kissing steps. If you walk up the stairs backwards and only think about your wish then it will come true, or so they say. I happen to be a suck for wishes. I will pretty much do anything for a wish the come to true. And No, I'm not telling you what I wished for. We walked around the grounds and managed to be just in time for the bus to take us back to town. We had to pay double the price to get home, which wasnt advertised. We paid 3.50 to get there and had to pay 7 to get back. Steph made me laugh when she was like "Well thats ridiculous, but I guess we have to get home" I suppose you had to be there. It still makes me chuckle. Anyways, we grabbed lunch in Cork's city center and I bought my halloween costume (even got a student discount, goo me!!) I decided to be Tinkerbell. We boarded the bus at 3:30 for Galway. It was around this time that I realized my camera was dying and I forgot my charger. I'm totally going to blame Sean for distracting me Friday morning. We rolled into Galway around 8:30..

Galway 10/24-10/25

So I'm going to just start off by saying I'm not going to hold my experiences against Galway but I'm not a fan. We managed to find our way to the hostel relatively painlessly. And we ate dinner at Dominos which wasn't bad. We went to sleep around 12. We decided since we didn't have a lot of time and we were packing a lot in that we weren't going to drink. Not to mention that we had no money to spend on drinks. Soo we were both sleeping soundly until around 2am, I started having this weird dream. People were like having a screaming match in a hallway. And I remember in my dream being like "wow, this is pretty real" and then I woke up and found that it was real. Outside my room, these drunken Irish guys were screaming and banging things. This continued until about 4am when the guys who were sharing the hostel room with me and Steph decided to go out and tell them to shut up. Im not really sure how they thought them telling them to be quiet was going to help since multiple people had already told them. So things got more heated and needless to say there was broken glass against my door in the morning. It was definitely one of those scary moments in life where your like "hmm.. this prolly the most danger I've been in with no escape" I also managed to notice the size of the 4 guys sleeping feet away from me and Steph. So as you can imagine I didn't sleep for the rest of the night. I got out of bed at what I thought was 7 but later while Steph and I were walking about the city in the dark, we realized that it was day light savings and cellphones here don't change the time on their own. I also couldn't bring myself to take a shower there, I forgot my flip flops, and there was mud and bugs in the shower stall. I just couldn't do it. I know there are tons of bugs and germs in showers to begin with, but if I can see them then I can't do it.

After figuring out the bus to the Cliffs of Moher.. (which we later found out we messed up).. we went back to the hostel to check our email and have some tea and coffee. We thought we found a bus that left at 8:40. Apparently, that only runs in the summer. So we had to wait around till 10:40. I should also mention at this point we had decided to cut the trip short and not go to Belfast. I had received an email from my doc who informed me, a week and a half after the fact that I had strep throat and needed to start medicine. With my Mother's lecture about going without med for strep throat running thru my head, and the fact that we couldn't find a bus that easily went from Galway to Belfast.. we decided to go back to Dublin for a night and then just do a day trip to Belfast on Monday. We also managed to get our money back on the hostel because the night was awful. Anyways, we went out for breakfast and wondered the empty city and bought a disposable camera. It was also raining all morning. There is nothing worse then me being cold, wet, tired, and unshowered. Why Steph didn't shoot me, I'm not quite sure. We boarded the bus around 10:30 and fell right to sleep. When I woke up, I looked over at Steph who had cheeks the color of tomatos and said "Do you thinks a little warm in here?" Man, that was the hottest bus ride ever. I asked the bus driver to turn off the heat because everyone was melting but I was told there was nothing we could do about. We took an amazing bus trip through the Irish countryside. I decided on of the best ways to see Ireland is truly by bus or car. I felt like I should be paying extra getting to see that much of Ireland. The Cliffs of Moher was everything I hoped and more. For about an hour all the bullshit it took to get there didn't really matter. First time in my life, I was literally knocked over the wind. But it was amazing. The gray sky cleared and opened right up to a blue sky for us. and as soon as we got back on the bus.. it down poured. I also managed to take my very last picture on my camera b4 it died right b4 I got on the bus. Sometimes prayers are answered.

The bus ride home was awful. We were once again stuck on the overheated bus, except this time we had a full bus. So it was 10 times hotter. Also, generally speaking I don't really get grossed out by coughing or sick people being around me. But there was a women on this bus who made me cover my mouth while she was on the bus. I can honestly say I never want to look, smell, sound or be her. She has sections of her head open with wounds, She had leathery skin and this cough that made me want to throw up. It was prolly the most miserable hour I have ever spent on a bus. And we were like 2 seats away from her. Ugh. When we finally got off the bus..we got a snack and went to get our bags and hopped back on the bus for Dublin. It was a nice bus ride, only about 3 hours. I was soo happy to get home back to my bed. I never thought I would miss my bedroom here in Dublin. But oh did it feel good to sleep in my own bed and shower in my own shower.

We never made it to Belfast. We were both exhausted then the idea of getting up at 7am to go to Belfast was just a little bit too much for us. Plus Steph had a paper due. Soo I spent bank holiday, in bed, with the exception of walking with Sean to Eddie Rockets. Best meal ever. It was a good day. I like traveling and seeing Ireland, but I love doing nothing.

More to come..

Monday, October 12, 2009

Look how far we've come...Happy Birthday Baby Jake

Im a firm believer that you can't see how far you have come until you take a moment to look back to where you were.

Two years ago, I was in a pretty rough stop. It was prolly one of the lowest times in my life thus far. In September right before school started Tjay and I broke up. We had been dating since Junior year of high school. We had gone through a lot together and needless to say he was my best friend. And when it ended it felt like the entire world had crumbled in. When your with someone for so long at that age and you go through the transitions together from being high schoolers to college students.. as naive as it may sound.. you start to think that maybe it won't end..that just maybe it would last forever. It wasn't always easy but I always felt like the good out weighed the bad and generally speaking I always felt like what we had together was worth fighting for, but deep down I knew it had to happen. I knew somewhere in my heart that we would have to take time away from each other.. I guess when he came over that night and I knew that when he left he wasn't going to be coming back.. the difference between knowing something needing to be done and actually having it be done to you are completely different.

I cried. I cried alot. In fact, I became a person I never thought I would be. I stopped working. I changed my major. I changed all of my classes.. because he was my rock. When everything in my life didn't make sense.. we made sense. And so when he was gone.. when "we" were gone..I just kinda fell apart. There were moments where I couldn't breathe.. there were moments where I thought I would never be happy again. I couldn't imagine waking up and not thinking about him first thing. Everything reminded me of him.

But there was one glimmer of hope. Katie was pregnant. Which meant that my mom needed help with planning a baby shower for 50 people. Which meant that my mom decided being her assistant was clearly my calling and made me organize and decorate and plan things. Not only did I plan the baby shower but I also started to take Kate to her doctors appointments when she didn't want to go alone.

On October 13, 2007-Jake Michael Percival made his entrance into the world, exactly on his due date. And I remember holding him.. thinking to myself that I was going to be the best Aunt to that little boy that I knew how to be.

And so 5 months later when it was time for Kate to go back to work.. I stepped in. I remember being terrified. Not only was this life in my hands but it was Katie's child's life in my hands.. you don't mess with Katie. I remember the first day was pretty smooth. It was the second day that Jake's poop exploded all over his back.. through his clothes.. there was poop everywhere. I had never given an infant a bath. I didn't know what you do with poopy clothes. I didn't even know where to begin in cleaning him off.. But I remember looking down at this little boy and I said "Ok, Jake.. Don't worry.. We can figure this out." And he looked up at me and give me a little smile.. followed by a look of "who the hell did my mother leave me with.. this chick is crazy." But after that life with Jake became about figuring things out together.

I found a new kind of love. Just as one type of love in my life was leaving a new kind was coming in. A love that made it possible for me find patience when I didn't think I had any left. A love that made me stop thinking about all the meaningless drama and focus on what really mattered. A love that made me realize that this little boy could make my day by just simply giggling or smiling at me. I found joy in the little things.. I rememeber when learning a word was an achievement or walking or crawling. I had never felt prouder of a person more then when Jake learned how to do something and everytime he would look back at me with a glitter in his eye and a smile on his face. He became the man in my life.

It wasn't always rainbows and sunshine. Were there days I didn't want the responsibility? Of course. Were there days I was tired and didn't feel like getting out of bed? Yup. But at the end of the day.. that little boy brought me back from one of the saddest and confusing times in my life.. and for that I will be forever grateful. And to be honest.. I think I miss him the most. I only hope that somewhere he understands his Moo Moo isn't gone forever and will be back real soon. Happy Birthday Jake-a-Roo!!!





Sunday, October 11, 2009

last night i saw my friend become bike road kill..

Since school has started the eventfulness of living in Dublin kind of subsided, until this week..

Tuesday afternoon I was pleasantly surprised when I opened my email to find a email from Aideen. She invited me to a home cooked meal. HELL YES! Wednesday night, Aideen's husband Johnny picked me up and took me to their house. The first thing Aideen said to me when I walked in the door was "Meg! You've lost weight! You aren't eating.. we are going to have to fatten you up tonight" We had chicken, carrots, potato's, some french pastry, and blueberry crumble. It was amazing. I love home cooked food. It was kind of a bitter sweet feeling being around a family. While it was amazing being around family..it also made me realize what I am missing at home. I think I've realized if there is one thing that is the lonely feeling in the world is eating dinner alone. And at home there is always at least 1 person around to eat with you..even if that's just Bud-Bud or Sam Chop. But anyways, nonetheless it was a fabulous meal and lovely getting to talk to people who actually know my family. I never thought I would say this but I am actually looking forward to DeeDee coming. If there is 1 thing that's close to having your Mom around its having your grandmother.

We started out the weekend with a bang being Steph's 20th Birthday on Thursday. I made a banner and blew up 30 balloons all on my own and decorated my apartment to surprise her. We originally planned for have dinner at Stephs place but since no1 wanted to get up on Thursday at 7am and decorate the place.. Erica and I made the executive decision to throw an impromptu surprise party. We made quesadia's and I made a mocha cake with vanilla frosting. I managed to come up with an idea of telling Steph that I burnt the cake and she would have to come over to my place right away. Of course when I called her in a panic she told me it was no big deal about the cake and in a desperate act told her that there was smoke and the fire alarm might go off.. to which Steph apparently ran out of her apartment without stopping to tell Erica or Anna and came straight over. Its good to know if I had a fire I have a friend who would literally just stop everything for me. Needless to say she was surprised and the dinner and cake were amazing.

After dinner, we all got ready to go out and people started to arrive. We played kings and at the end.. Tom spilled his drink all over me. Soo I had to change my clothes b4 we even left belgrove. We went to Fitzgerald's, where Tom and I tried to get Stephs crush to kiss her. It didn't work..(but she ended up getting his number the next night). We then went to this club 21.. which still of course isn't really my thing but because it was Stephs bday I grinned and bared it.

Friday.. I literally spent the entire day in bed. I have started a new tradition of staying in bed and watching the new Grey's Anatomy after its been downloaded onto my Itunes, when I wake up on Friday mornings. And this Friday I had some birthday cake left over soo it was grand. By 7 I was restless and ended up going to a party with Emma.. which was interesting to say the least. They had a cake with a naked chick on all fours on the top of it. Yea.. I kid you not. I ended up coming home by 12:30 and ended up talking to Annabelle and Sean till about 4:30.. I seem to have managed to start a vicious sleep cycle.

Saturday, Stephanie and Gauthier and I went on the Guinness Tour. It was fun.. it was really just one big advertisement for Guinness. At the end though we ended up at the Sky Bar. It has the entire view of Dublin and a pint of Guinness waiting for you. I didn't end up finishing mine because I barely had anything to eat soo after half a pint I was already feeling it and I knew I had a long night ahead of me.

Saturday night we went out to celebrate Annabelle's 25th birthday. We had wine and some food at our apartment and then around 10 we headed out to a local bar. One the way to the bus stop we ran into Loic on his bike. While I was commenting on his funny light reflecting vest..we started to cross the street and I'm not quite sure how it happened but Steph went face first into Loic's bike. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. Of course she didn't move after and I had to scream at her about getting up because cars in Dublin don't care they will run you over. Still she totally beats my running into a clear door by 1000. absolutely hilarious.

We finally made it to the actual Temple Bar. I might have been impressed if we weren't so jam packed into such a little space. We didn't stay long because it was hot and I can only been that close to people in that kinda crowd before claustrophobia starts to set in. Steph, Sean and I separated from the group for about a half hour so we could go the Fitzgerald's and Steph could talk to the guy she is crushing on. She made me so proud.. She got his number and he got hers.. kids grow up soo fast ::tear:: We made our way over to Doyle's. It was clearly Steph's night because she ended up leaving the city with 3 guys numbers. It was a good night over all.. I was able to hide from the sweat-feast that is the upstairs of Doyle's by talking with Sean the entire night. Over all it turned out to be a great night.

Sunday, Tom and Steph and I went into city centre to find Halloween costumes. I found one that's really cute.. I'm going to be a Pilot. they didn't have my size but they are going to call me when it comes in. I also found a Gap in Dublin. It was walking into my homeland. I found a winter jacket soo I wont freeze in my fleece when it starts to rain and become extremely cold. Its nice to know that a feeling of going to an American mall is only a Gap away.

Monday, I was extremely impressed with myself. I managed to go to all of my classes, plus go to the food store.. clean the kitchen and all the dishes.. make dinner (soup and grilled cheese).. made banana bread (it was definitely not the best I've made..I kind of forgot that I don't have a fully stocked kitchen with baking instruments and also that I had to convert all the stuff.. soo I think its going to be a work in progess).. and I washed 3 loads of laundry. Its kind of ironic but I seem to be the only one who clean anything in my apartment. My roommates seem to take out the trash when I leave it by the door. There are some things I cant bring myself to do.. I feel like the trash is a guys job.. and while I may empty it.. I don't like having to take it to the dumpster. But I seem to be the only one who will clean the shower or clean the toilet or clean the oven and counter tops and Im the only one who has brought a vaccum into this apartment. (pick your mouth off the floor Mom.. I'm not a total pig) On that note.. I'm going to go watch a movie..I decided to put up some pictures from the weekend and of my room incase people were curious about what my room looks like.. Goodnight Dublin and Good Evening America.





Tuesday, October 6, 2009

from one sister to another..

so its come to my attention that my little sister has been thrown into the new world of boys. not that they didn't exist before but rather she has been hit with the inevitable can't think, can't sleep, can't function crush. it plagues the best of us.. and being the hopeless romantic that I am.. I have had my fair share.

Dear Libber Joe,

I wish that I could tell you the secret to dealing with this new world you have been thrown into. After all I was chasing boys in 3rd grade at recess and was called a flirt by 6th grade. You would think I had all the secrets..alas.. I'm 22 and I still get crushes that don't quit. But I have picked up some things along the way that may ease some of the pain.

1. Bad Boys are fun to hang out with but you never want to get truly involved with them. They make you feel a little dangerous..They are generally good kissers (because they have kissed soo many people) and they have that whole mystery thing down pat. But you never want to get close enough where they will bring you down. You should probably date one in your life but keep a safe distance..

2. You can't save anyone. I put this after the bad boy one because well.. its some complex girls have. we always want to save the guy. The only person you can save is yourself. If you want to break up with someone and they do the whole "omg im going to die without you.. im going to kill myself." You have a bigger problem then you can handle and should find someone else to deal with it.

3. If a boy likes you..he will find time to call you. They say they are going to call. They say that they are going to text you later. But its the guy that actually likes you that actually does it. And if you have a boyfriend who usually calls you all the time or hangs out with you all the time and then stops. You have a problem. Nothing good comes from total communication to a dead line. Also texts messages..if he really likes you..he will call you. I am beginning to believe that texts are the end of romance..its the least amount of effort to keep your attention.

4. If you feel like something isn't right. Then it isn't right. They may say that you are being crazy, psycho, bitchy, or irrational. But seriously, every time I thought something was wrong or off. It was. So don't let them make you feel like you are the crazy one. this extends to girls flirting..him not calling.. not that you should be controlling but believe me..you will know the feeling when it hits you.

5. There are going to be lots of guys. I know when I was 16.. Don said to me "Meg, your going to break hearts and have your heart broken by tons of guys" and of course I didn't believe him. But seriously, there will be more then just one guy.Its when you least expect it that another one will pop out in front of you.

6. When you go on a date.. I hear most girls don't eat alot because they don't want to look like pigs. I have never in my life watched what I ate on a date for fear of looking fat. In fact if that is true and there are guys out there like that.. why the hell would you want to date someone like that anyway.. soo seriously the only thing I was ever conscious of on a date was the price of what your ordering. Boys your age don't have a steady in flow of cash soo just watch how much your meal costs. Always offer to help pay (even if they don't expect you too its a nice thing to do and always bring enough money to pay for yourself.. ooo and offering to cover the tip is nice too)

7. When a guy calls for you the first couple of times and you have that awkward silence bc neither of you know what to say.. I have always found the best way to get to know someone on the phone is if you play the Questions game. You know.. stuff like: Whats your favorite color, whens your birthday, whats your middle name. It relieves some of the tension and it also lets you take notes on things that are important and that means if the relationship goes anywhere you can surprise him later on birthdays and holidays. Guys get very impressed when you remember random things. Soo keep mental notes.

8. Now lets say you really like someone and then he asks you out and then it feels weird. While most of my friends thought i was crazy.. if it didn't feel right then I didn't stay in it very long. Which leads me too..

9. Now call me a hopeless romantic.. call me picky.. or maybe I just listened to Cher too much as a child.. I am a firm believer in the kiss says everything. If you kiss a guy and its gross or its just weird.. then I wouldn't waste your time. Though.. sometimes it just takes time to make it work.. ur young soo you have to figure out what works for you. Only you can tell if a kiss has potential. BTW: First Kisses are something your going to remember so don't just waste it on some guy you could careless about. When you have your first kiss you want it to mean something (as much as it can mean at 16)

10.Ahh and there will be the inevitable guy best friend. Now he will be someone you have been friends with for awhile.. he is always there to give you advice and listen to you and eventually one day he will get the balls to tell you.. he has a thing for you. And you will start to wonder if you were actually supposed to be together.. you get along well right? he makes you laugh.. soo hey why not give it a shot...the kiss is a good indicator.. but also if you don't feel the same its best to be honest about it. If he is ur true friend then he will get over it and understand. and if he can't get over it and won't be your friend still then he wasn't your friend to begin with. But then again sometimes it just takes time for him to heal his heart.. and when he is healed you can be friends again.


11. You never let a guy come before your friends. This is more important when you actually have a boyfriend. You have to figure out how to create a balance between the two. Its not easy.. it will feel like you are being pulled in two different directions. But if you talk about it with them and try to spend your time equally you should be ok.

Alrighty that should be good for now.. its late.. I gotta get some sleep. If all else fails you can just ask me.. I love you, Lib. Don't worry.. your going to break plenty of hearts ;-)


Love,

Marglo

Sunday, October 4, 2009

To secret wild pasts..

My freshmen year of college, I had to write a paper commenting on this women's own essay about how she didn't like treadmills because you were running without a destination and if you were running or walking without a destination then what was the point. It was at this point in my life where I had realized that college wasn't about learning more pointless facts that in the real world prolly wouldn't do me much good. But rather college was an exercise in learning to think. So when I was given this paper, and I was talking about the assignment and the paper at dinner with my Mom, she got agitated. She didn't agree with the writer to put it lightly. And as we talked through the essay because I didn't have enough experience at the time.. I thought that both sides were right more or less. It wasn't till this last week that I full understand where my Mother was coming from.

Maybe I am my mothers daughter. Maybe the inevitable happened.. maybe it took me going across the atlantic ocean to realize how much my Mother and I are alike. I'm going to say this goes under "a blessing and a curse" category of live. As crazy as my Mother is.. as wacky and out there she appears.. she has never apologized for being who she is. Which is what I admire the most. I can only hope to be that comfortable in my own skin one day. And while she isn't perfect and she makes mistakes.. there isn't anyone I would rather be compared to. She always told me I was the most like her and I dont know if she just saw something I didn't or I was just being a teenager who needed to rebel in any way they could. But I guess I see it now. Or atleast I'm beginning to.

I was never that active of a child except for swimming and as I got older swimming became a place where the world would quiet and I could not think for awhile.. as if my body was on autopilot and there wasn't any judgements.. everything fell to the side. (this is what the women in the essay didn't like.. she didn't like going on autopilot) And I suppose swimming and running are like the same thing...its repetitive and most people find it boring. But like my Mother said back in freshmen year, there isn't anything wrong with going on autopilot.. to give right brain time to wonder while the left side does all the work. Since my shoulder surgery I cant swim anymore.. atleast for another couple of months. And with all the over stimulation here and everything Im learning and trying to take in.. I have found myself restless and wanting to swim.. to be active. So friday, on my day off, I woke up and decided I was going to go for a walk/run. It was a good run.. I havn't ran since b4 the surgery soo I didn't go far.. or run all that hard but I left feeling empowered and a bit more clear headed. I even found myself at parts taking off my headphones because there were soo many thoughts that were trying to be heard that the music just became annoying.

I have been trying to work through some gray areas of my life. I feel like when you watch peoples lives outside of the situations it is so easy to judge them. But really when it boils down.. every situation has so many shades of gray that its almost impossible to judge them. I have done things in my life that I'm not necessarly proud of but I wouldn't take any of them back because it was exactly what I wanted at the time. And if I hadn't of done things then I would have spent my life wondering what would have happend if I had acted on my feelings. And now I'm in a place in my life where I no longer have to worry about taking care of another person..I dont have to worry about making any one happy but myself. I'm in Europe for 4 months, this is one of those times in your life where you have a small window of opportunity to be free. i dont have a job.. i dont have much responsibily (except to show up to class) i don't have a boyfriend.. so im going to do things that may be out of character. im going to do things that some people don't agree with. Because no matter how dumb or stupid it may appear to the outside world.. you can't say you have lived until you have fallen down a couple times. and hell, as libby likes to say "Im creating my secret wild past."

Good Morning Ireland and Goodnight America.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

What I've learned so far..

It's official I have been away from America for 1 month today.. and I decided it would be kinda cool to make a list of things I've learned:

1. It took 1 month for me to find Tesco's that carry chocolate cake mix and brownie mix. They are two different Tesco's in the opposite directions of the city.

2. Irish banking is not as straight forward as you would expect.

3. The Euro eats Dollars for breakfast.

4. If you want a normal american size shot at the bar you have to ask for a double and pay double the price (8 euro/12 dollars generally speaking)

5. You have to pull a string to turn on your shower.

6. UCD is a huge cock block. (you can't have any friends over past 12)

7. A full Irish breakfast is something I want to eat every morning.

8. I can now ride a public bus on my own.

9. Life without a car means you walk.

10. A trip to the food store is basically like going to the gym.

11. The Irish don't believe in syllabi.

12. Freshmen here are called freshers.

13. Everyone goes home on the weekends in Ireland.

14. Irish kids stay up till 4 am and are loud on school nights.

15. Irish cabs are not creepy like the ones in New York.