i asked for a sign and then a fox appeared.

When you know something painful is coming, your first response is to brace yourself for whatever may be coming your way. Even if its something that can't be seen.. many a time you want to revert back to when your a child and if you close your eyes and hide your face the scary thing thing won't get you. Most of the time its not the actual entity or the action but the fear that paralyzes you. Fear. It's a bitch. While in many cases it keeps you from hurting yourself. at what point does that fear just hold you back and not able to experience something that could turn out to be wonderful and scary all at the same time.

And the idea of holding on or letting go. The two most common things I've heard in my life is : if you love something you set it free and if it comes back it was always yours and if it doesn't it never was. and if you find someone worth loving never give up. don't let it slip through your hands.

Well if those aren't the most conflicting messages in the world, then i don't know what are. How do you know when to stand up and fight for what you believe it and when to sit down and shut up and just let the universe take care of it.

There has been many times in my life where I find myself at a crossroads, knowing the direction in which I need to take but still having some hesitation. And call it childish, say its naive, but I find myself sometimes put it out to the universe for some guidance. I simply ask for a sign. Something to tell me I'm doing the right thing. And most the time I either forget what the sign was or nothing happens. But there was one time where I was driving Tjay home and I just had a feeling that something was in the woods. This feeling of being watched and idk maybe it was in my head but at night I always felt like Sean (a friend who died in Devonwood) was watching the cars drive in and out at night. And soo I said to myself "Alright Sean, if your there show me." And as I drove home when I got the main gate, there is the driveway across the street was a fox. It looked straight at me and scurried away. I suppose it all depends on what you believe in but in that moment, chills went down my spine. Later, I asked my mom what a fox was a symbol of and she said they were messengers.

Soo the other night, while I was unable to sleep. As the idea of leaving Ireland was beginning to sink in and the realization of what I would be leaving behind was slowly creeping into my mind. And I sat there afraid. Afraid of which path to choose.. at how unfair the world can be and questioning the idea of fate and destiny. And soo I asked for a sign again. I said "Ok, if its meant to be, the fox that Annabelle saw will appear." And 10 minutes later, a fox ran right across the center of Belgrove. Not in the bushes, not in the unlit areas. Right out in the middle of the grounds with all the lights on. coincidence? or is the universe trying to tell me something? only time will tell i suppose..